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Episode 24

Finding That Special Someone Called YOU! (Self-Care Series)

August 8, 2014

Are you looking for that perfect someone post-divorce or post-severing of a long term relationship? A relationship that will be THE ONE to complete you? Look no further. Rachel Buddeberg of Your Life Is A Garden will be joining The Mother Rising for our second episode on Self-Care for the month of August where she will help us to learn to develop a loving, trusting and long-lasting relationship with YOU. Rachel will share with us new insights into “singlism” and “couplemania” as well as how to diffuse cultural messages that tell us we can only be happy, healthy and wealthy within a couple.

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Guest Information

About Rachel A. Buddeberg

Rachel A. Buddeberg empowers people to create relationships as unique as they are as individuals. She provides tools that bring intentionality to relationships and counteract cultural norms and past patterns that might get in the way of fulfilling connections. As a relationship coach, she offers one-on-one coaching and workshops to guide participants through an iterative design process. This allows them to build sustainability and fun into their relationships, no matter what their level of intimacy. She combines training in permaculture, compassionate communication (NVC), philosophy, social psychology, and interpersonal neurobiology into skillful guidance to support change. Everything she teaches is grounded in science and was first implemented into her own life, so her methods are well tested in the real world. To find out more about her work, please check out her website at www.yourlifeisagarden.com

About Margaret Jacobson

After 17 years of marriage and 3 children, Margaret Jacobson divorced. The processView More: http://donh.pass.us/margaret-jacobsen and the pain of discovering that divorce was her best choice were arduous. Margaret had to summon the strength to haul her booty out of her ex’s family home and commute 60 miles each day to see her children. Through her personal transformation, Margaret created a well-rounded approach to empowering herself through mental, physical, emotional and spiritual behavior changes. She has a BA in Neuroscience, and a MA in Health Services Administration. Margaret is a certified Wellness Coach and has completed a 2-year women’s empowerment program in the Dianic Aloha tradition. At present, Margaret is Acting Minister of the Interior of YAO Company, a company that provides pure simple Chinese medicine for those who want a holistic approach to health and wellness. Margaret regularly writes for The Mother Rising blog, and the YourTango Experts page. Margaret is our very own creator of The Mother Rising radio show!

Notes & Resources

Pamela Elaine and I loved interviewing Rachel.  It was so eye opening for both Pamela Elaine and myself.  Rachel referenced a book that we wanted to include for your reference:  Singled Out by Bella De Paulo.  We shared our experiences of feeling very outside of the “regular” community being newly singled due to divorce and what was a surprise to us was that Rachel’s journey also included divorce which led her to much of her teachings and coaching.  Rachel has a wonderful workshop coming up in San Francisco at Good Vibrations.  Here’s the link to her workshop…it’s on Sept. 18th.  Scroll down to where you see her picture. It’s called SELF EMPOWERMENT: ESPECIALLY FOR SINGLES.

Rachel recommended seeking out other single parents so you might not feel so alone, honoring the grief and loss of your community.  She also talked about a group that matches single moms with other single moms to help them find common living quarters…LOVE THAT!

The quote I read at the end is my favorite quote on TRUST.  Because in the end, as we build our self-esteem it’s about trusting ourselves:

Trust is the willingness to be vulnerable, based on one’s confidence in the other party’s benevolence, honesty, openness, reliability and competence. – by Megan Tshannen – Moran

Can you trust yourself by allowing yourself to be vulnerable?

Do you have confidence that you can care for yourself?

Are you benevolent? honest? open? reliable? and competent?

Lastly, we talked about the importance of watching your desire to seclude yourself and stay in doors and not go socialize…especially in light of Robin Williams death.  There is a very high correlation with the depression and divorce.  So please monitor your use of anti-depressants as well as anxiety medication.  It’s ok to take it especially during this time, but as Daniel Hudson says, you need to have a plan for how you will get off of it before you go on it.  If your plan is to take it for the rest of your life, well then that’s perfectly acceptable, but often times our intention is to stop taking it and we never made the game plan to get off of it and then we are hooked and it becomes nearly impossible.

Enjoy this episode. And to dear Robin Williams…Oh Captain, My Captain…you will be so very sorely missed.

Episode Transcript